


Unity

by Shabby Abby (KJPearl)



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: After Independence, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Loneliness, Spaceships, featuring a mini rant on my love of jace, so take this pure speculation on my favourite space lesbians, upon writing this i realized we know nothing about them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 17:32:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12916812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KJPearl/pseuds/Shabby%20Abby
Summary: After Gig broadcasts the history of Quire, Primary goes to visit Satellite.





	Unity

The broadcast ended and Demani Dusk sat in her ship, in her tiny metal box, and realized she had never felt so alone. She had never even known the meaning of loneliness before this. Perhaps she’d thought that she had; that loneliness was the feeling of being a Primary who was stuck carefully monitoring data, communicating only through daily dispatches to her Satellite. But that had been nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the sheer distance she felt at the moment, the chasm that Independence built.

Demani shuddered, feeling cold and hollow at the thought of the infinite space that stretched between her and the universe. She couldn’t stop thinking about the destruction of Quire’s last civilization. She’d seen mistrust and war grow as the distances between people stretched. Demani thought of herself, so far from Crystal Palace and home, so far from the Beloved Dust who she watched, so far even from Satellite and she couldn’t bear it.

She needed...something. And so she broke protocol and made her way to Gray. She knew where the other woman was, of course. She always did. She was a Primary and it was her job to know everything. She left her capsule and traveled—through the emptiness and the loneliness and the desperation—until she reached Gray.

Demani hesitated for a moment before entering the ship. The doors opened with the hiss of hydraulics. They closed and the room slowly began to repressurize. It felt like an eternity of waiting. Demani tapped her foot impatiently, and the noise echoed off the metal. Finally, finally it let her through to see Gray. She saw the gold silhouette of the other woman staring at a screen flashing with anomalies.

“Satellite,” she called out, “I’m right here.”

“Primary?” Gray gasped, spinning to face her, “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I know, but Gray you must have felt it too?” Demani walked towards her. She needed this closeness, even if in the back of her mind it still felt like a lie that would be ripped away from her.

Gray nodded slowly and Demani saw the same chasm of loneliness she felt, reflected in Gray’s face. And that was too much, nothing should make Gray feel this suffering. So she held out her arms, an offering.

Gray closed the final distance between them and wrapped her arms around Demani with a quiet whimper.

“Oh, Primary— Demani, it was terrible. The destruction, all caused because people felt lonely and hurt. And then being here, all by myself…”

“I know, Gray,” Demani held her tighter, “I felt this same. It’s why I had to come here, fuck protocol. I know I don’t always say it, but I care about you. So much so that it scares me sometimes. And, well, fuck Independance too, I care about you enough to fill whatever space there is between us. I know you Gray, we’re connected and we care about each other and we trust each other. And we’re not alone! We’re not alone, because we’re together. We can't be alone.”

Demani swallowed hard and wished she could convince herself, but still the spectre haunted her. The thought of being alone in space, with no one to care if she was happy or sad or even whether she lived or died, terrified her. She trained her eyes on Gray’s own, flickering green lights blinking up at her from a golden face, and tried to ingrain the moment in her mind. The feeling of Gray’s arms wrapped so carefully around her back, the metallic smell of her, and the look of her face, close enough to share breath if Gray were to breathe, looking at her with the softest smile and eyes so bright. 

“It’s alright, Demani, you’re here now. We’re here now. Come, sit,” Gray lowered them to the floor and Demani had to giggle, these pods were not exactly meant for comfort. The extent of seating was a single pilot chair directed towards the various monitors that Gray probably didn’t even need. Demani rearranged herself against Gray so she sat sideways in her lap and turned to face her. It wasn’t entirely uncomfortable which was probably the best that could be said for sitting on the metal floor of a Satellite Capsule.

“Let’s just talk about something else,” Demani mumbled, resting her head against Gray’s shoulder, “How about one of those books you’ve been telling me about?”

“Sure, uh, there’s  _ The Treatise on Change.  _ That’s the one that’s really stuck with me. Part of Jace Rethal’s work. I know you don’t believe in intervention, but I still think his ideas are interesting. I think…” she trailed off.

“What?”

“It’s silly.”

“I doubt it. You’re smart Gray, even smarter than you give yourself credit for, but even if it was silly I wouldn’t mind,” Demani confessed.

“Oh,” Gray flushed a bright yellow, “I was just thinking, after Independence, about how things change slowly and they grow slowly. Relationships too.”

“You mean...us,” Demani felt her face heating to match Gray’s.

“I know, I know we’re not supposed to get too attached—”

“We’re also not supposed to visit each other during the mission. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances. I know what we’re supposed to do, but I just can’t make myself care. Not right now, Gray. I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want to lie. I want to be with you. Because I love you,” she found herself staring at Gray’s face again trying to discern what she was feeling. It wasn’t that hard as a broad grin stretched across Gray’s face. Demani felt herself release the breath she hadn’t even known she was holding.

She leaned in close and kissed Gray the way she’d been dreaming of for months. The reality was even better then her imagination. When they parted, she laughed, warm and full of joy and so very close to the woman she loved. With a single kiss she felt almost cleansed of Independance. 

“Tell me more about this treatise,” Demani asked.

“You don’t really want to know,” Gray demurred, “I know all the stuff about interfering and changing things seems pointless to you.”

“That's not the important part. It matters to you. And I like seeing you talk about things you care about, it’s not something I often get the chance to do. Did you know you light up, Gray? Like the sun.”

Gray giggled.

“Ugh,” Demani sighed, “I know it sounds so cheesy. Even worse with all the Rapid Evening eclipse stuff. But it’s true. You glow.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll start talking if it will make you stop,” but Gray couldn’t hide the blush that covered her cheeks, “The writer, Jace Rethal, was a member of the Rapid Evening ages ago. He fought that annihilation class object that people won’t talk about, the one they just call the first divine. He wrote this book after they defeated it, about recovering. He talks a lot about how slow change comes, like I’ve told you. He also talks a lot about technology, the dangers and powers and beauty he sees as inherent within it.”

Demani noticed Gray look down to where her metallic hands rested in her lap, fingers winding nervously, and took one of Gray’s hands into her own. Demani gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“He was writing, you know, before synthetic people were really a thing,” Gray continued, “They didn’t understand technology the same way back then, especially with the divine that they destroyed, it had gone rogue and almost destroyed their whole sector. But he still seems to have understood something about technology instinctively. That being organic or synthetic doesn’t make you better or worse, just a person. And people are complicated Demani, if there's one thing I’ve learnt from being a Satellite Observer it’s that people are so complicated. There’s so many variables, even for me, but at the end of the day in some ways we’re so simple. We’re just people. We just want safety, comfort, love. And Rethal seems like he understood that.”

“I can see why you like him. He sounds a lot like you, so optimistic.”

“I guess,” Gray smiled, “But enough about philosophy. You’re here and I don’t want to waste a second.”

“If I’m being honest, I’m not sure I even remember how to hold a proper conversation anymore. Talking without time limits or report parameters,” Demani smiled sadly, “It’s been quite a while.”

“I know what you mean, but there’s no need to talk really. We could talk or we could just be quiet for as long as you’re here, Demani, and it would be better than even my favourite book,” Gray confided. Demani knew what she meant. It was like when they’d reconnected after the transmission blackout. Simply having someone there was enough, even without words.

“Better than a book? High praise from you,” Demani joked.

They sat like that for a while—two women in a tiny capsule and at the same time, at least to Demani, the whole entire world—wrapped tightly together in defiance of all the empty distance in the universe. But eventually all good things must end.

“I should go,” Demani finally forced herself to say, “I’ll send you a message when I arrive back at my capsule.”

They parted slowly, regretfully. As Demani turned to leave Gray called out, “Wait. Just one second.”

She ran over to her tiny bookshelf and pulled something out before returning and presenting it to Demani, “Here. It’s Rethal’s book, the one with  _ The Treatise on Change.  _ Maybe you could read it, you know, if you want.”

“I’d love to,” Demani gave Gray another kiss, relishing in the warm presence of her, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Then Demani returned to space, book clutched tightly in her hands.

**Author's Note:**

> find me @abbyisshabby on twitter


End file.
